On my mind... Mother's day...

This year I have been thinking a lot about the evolution of Mother's Day in my own life. Please bear with me, I just need to get these thoughts written down and sent into the great cosmic void that is the internet.

When I was little Mother's day was a day where my siblings and I got to make something special for our mom, as well as breakfast and dinner. It wasn't until I was 8 that it began to mean something more. I don't know when my Mom got sick, but she did. What I do remember is hugging her in her mint green bathroom, in front of the sink, as she was packing. I still have flashbacks of that very moment. She knelt down, looked me straight in the eye, and told me that she was going to get better. I remember wondering if we would have another Mother's day of celebrating her and not remembering her. She of course pulled through, but that was a defining moment in my childhood. My Mom became an important person in my life, that sounds funny, but she became more than just my Mom.

Fast forward a few years, I am 22 and struggling to overcome infertility. Wondering if I will ever become a mom myself. Looking at friends that have children and becoming angry with myself for causing this. The worst part was knowing that because of my insecurities and fears as a teenager and the poor choices I made, I might never get to experience Mother's day. I might have robbed my husband of experiencing Father's day as well. I was so angry with myself, but I found help and I got 2 beautiful babies. After complications I am again facing infertility and may never bring another baby into my family, but I am at peace with that.

As a mother of both a son and a daughter I wonder... Can I raise my son to be a gentle but hard working honest man? Can I help to get him through tough teenaged years? Can I protect my sweet baby girl from the evils of the world? Can I raise her to be a confident woman when I myself am not one? Will my children ever have to face the possibility of losing a parent early in life? How can I protect them? All I can do is teach them right from wrong and that they are safe at home, that I love them more than my own life.

At the end of each day I pause and ask myself "Did I love them enough today?" Most days I can honestly say yes, the others I need to work on. I am truly thankful for the opportunity I have of being a mother. I still get teary eyed when Ty calls me "Mom" and when Ruby looks at me with that I-know-you-and-I-trust-you face. I love my husband and all that he does to support me as a wife and mother. I love my Heavenly Father for trusting me enough to care for these sweet spirits. I'm thankful for my Mom for being my friend and for keeping her promise of getting better.

Ty Marshall aka Brother Bear

Ruby Ray aka Sassy

My Babies!

I realized that I haven't posted in quite awhile so I thought I'd post some new pics as well. Ruby is now 7 months old! She is just over 18 lbs, not quite as big as Ty was but still chunky! She is in the 90th percentile for weight and the 25th for height, short+fat=no modeling career for my little beauty ;) We discovered that she is tongue-tied, so now we have 2 minor surgeries to put this baby through, bummer.
Ruby is still a dedicated thumber, usually the right thumb but will switch to the left if the occasion calls for it. Ruby is truly an "Angel Baby", she is just so good and sweet. We get stopped ALL THE TIME by complete strangers complimenting her. The last time we were at the Zoo I actually kept track... 47 "she's so adorable"s etc. in just under 3 hours! I love it!!!
And my Ty is almost 3! How can I have an almost 3 year old?!? These pictures were taken at Ty's second favorite place in the world, the small park directly behind our house. I think we go everyday and there is never anyone else there, its great! His number 1 favorite place to go is my Mom's house, in case you were wondering.
This boy constantly amazes me with the things that come out of his mouth. I wish I could be in his head so badly, to see what goes on in there! He carries around latex gloves and a mask because he wants to be a doctor when he grows up. Today we are going to plant our garden, and he is very good at digging the holes.
Sometimes having 2 kids, and a husband who is always at work or school, is difficult but they love eachother SO MUCH! I love watching Ruby's face light up when Ty comes into the room. Or seeing Ty sit next to Ruby on the floor, just so he can be close.

Big news...

We had our family pictures taken and here are my favorites of the kids. I'll post the family ones later. I made Ruby's tu-tu and headband, do you think its too much?
Here is my sweet Ruby. Her big news is that she loves to sit up and eat food, yay! She is so big and is so good at taking all of the abuse Ty dishes out in the name of love ;)
Now for the BIG NEWS... Ty is potty trained! for over a week now! He is even dry during nap and overnight. I am so proud of my mister. I love you Ty!

My littlest joy... Ruby Ray

So, my good friend told me that I haven't posted enough pictures of Ruby. So here we go, friend who shall remain nameless, this post is for you!

Ruby is the sweetheart of our family, she is truly a joy! She is still sleeping through the night, but like to have mommy close at hand. Speaking of hands... Ruby is a thumb/finger sucker! It is so cute and she is always very happy when she can get her digits in her mouth. 

Ruby is very quick to smile and loves looking at faces. She is very talkative and LOVES to laugh. As soon as she laughs, however, she gets the hiccups and then gets mad. Its quite the vicious cycle. Ruby still sneezes a lot, she also has half-sneezes that are very funny.

 She loves to roll over and be on her tummy. She is also very close to being able to sit up. Ruby also loves jumping in her jumparoo.

Ty still loves being a big brother and is a tremendous helper. Aaron is wrapped around Ruby's little fingers. I am a big fan of headbands with big flowers or bows, they are so much fun to make and show off. Ruby gets TONS of compliments on them. 

*I don't know why the photos are so unevenly spaced, but at least they are cute!*

Fall Fun

We went to the farm! It was so much fun! This is my new favorite picture of Ty and Ruby, sitting in the pumpkin patch. Ty absolutely loved seeing all of the pumpkins, he kept trying to pick them up and ended up rolling them all over instead! For those who aren't privy to Ty, his favorite color is orange ;) We went with another family from church, the Ryders, who have 2 little boys. Ty loves them, he calls them "my boys". Here are a couple of pictures of the 3 of them.
Give me a break! It is hard to get a 3, 2, and 1 year old to sit nice for a picture! 
We went through the corn maze (what an odd pastime) and ate fresh kettle corn, yum. And as you can tell from the pictures, it was a beautiful day! We didn't have to wear coats! I think it was the last nice day of the season, I'm so glad that we could enjoy it, outside, with great friends. Happy Fall!

Busy Month!

Hi all! Its been a little bit of a crazy month, I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in so long! Ruby is over 5 weeks old now! I can't believe how quickly the time is passing. Ruby is such a blessing to our family. She is so sweet! She started rolling over last week, can support her weight when standing on her feet, and has been giving us the sweetest smiles!

 She is doing everything early, just like her brother, which I am so bummed out by! I really wanted a paperweight baby, one that didn't do anything for months. I had a really hard time breast feeding, but that is going well now, you can tell by the formation of new rolls on Ruby :) And I am pretty much fully healed from my surgery, the recovery process from a planned c-section is so different from an emergency one!

They almost always end up sleeping head to head at naptime.

Ty is adjusting marvelously well. He loves his sister so much. He has changed one poopy diaper (he thought that was tons of fun) and he is great at getting things for me.

Welcome Ruby Ray!

Here she is! Ruby Ray Veal was born at 12:38 pm on September 18th. She was 7 lbs even and 19 inches long, I got a small little girl! She was SO NOT a fan of being born! She was literally pushing and kicking back at the doctors during my whole surgery, they thought that was pretty funny!
She has long fingers and TINY feet! She might even be able to fit into newborn booties (unlike another child of mine)! She does have a cute little skin tag on her right ear that will need to be removed in a couple of months.
So far she is very alert and mellow, as long as she is getting what she wants. She already turns her head to look at sounds and loves to be sung to.
Here is the proud big brother! I *think* he loves her, he has already kissed every piece of her exposed skin and likes to put his ear by her face, because she makes "nice noises" He thought it was hilarious the way that I was feeding her, I think a little confused at first, but is ok with it now.

As for me... I have decided that a scheduled c-section is about 100% easier than an emergency-life-or-death one, thank goodness. I was up and showered less than 24 hours after going under! I did get really sick again, but we had anticipated this and I was on some heavy anti-nausea meds, I also had a reaction to one of my painkillers so I was on extra meds for that too. Well, I think thats it for now as my little squeaker is calling for me.